Everything Has Changed. Everything is Exactly the Same
Erica O'Grady
I wasn’t sure what to expect. I thought that I would find answers, experience enlightenment, discover the secret of life. I would come back different. Forever changed. I would know exactly who I am and what I want out of this “one wild and precious life”. And that’s exactly what happened…well sorta.
I want to ask you a question. When was the last time you were alone with yourself? I mean really alone. No distractions. No background music, no television, no books or phone calls, no food or conversation to distract you from yourself. When was the last time you just sat with your thoughts without trying to avoid seeing who you really are? For some of you, the answer will be Never. Distraction is a way of life. You’d rather not know who you are. It’s safer that way. For some of you, the answer will be every day. You crave close encounters with reality. You crave the life you have.
My Teacher (if I may be bold enough to call her that) says that “A teacher is rarely found and yet astonishes you with his or her complete availability”. Beautiful. True. She also says that “The life we’re most devoted to, is the one we do not have”.
The truth is that I don’t know enough yet to know what having a teacher means. I don’t know enough about how the path works. But it turns out that I don’t have to know everything in order to take the next step.
Devotion and faith have always been foreign to me. Imagine my surprise when I found their warm embrace while silently staring at a wall. A rare kind of devotion. A devotion to truth and naked reality. Faith in myself.
24 people walk into an old house in a bad part of town. They spend three days staring at a wall. They eat in silence. They work with no awareness for the passing of time. Their legs fall asleep. Their backs ache. But they return again and again to sit at the wall. They know that there is no other way. They believe truth matters.
When they return to their lives, they find that everything has changed. Colors are more vibrant. Ideas are more focused. They start to make better choices. Choosing foods and people that nourish their souls.
When they return to their lives, they find that everything is exactly the same. Problems are still overwhelming. Demands are still being made. Their lives are still their lives.